Unstuck

Recently, like the past few months, I have been kinda down about my life. WHY? Hahahah I don't know because honestly, I have a VERY fortunate life.
But we all get down sometimes, right? I mean, obviously. We are humans. Things don't always go our way.

At this point in my life, I am almost 20 and feeling kinda stuck. The type of stuck where you feel you should be doing so much more than you really are but you have absolutely no idea how to do that so you just stay still. It's not that you're lazy, you just feel kinda overwhelmed.

I know that this is just a certain time in my life, and honestly, I apologize for the lack of writings on here.
Things are going much better for me and my thoughts and I thought I would share with you how I am achieving that.

In all honesty, you have to push yourself.
You cannot expect the good thoughts to just come to you, ESPECIALLY if you are prone to thinking bad ones. You have to PURPOSEFULLY CHOOSE to think about good things.

If there is one thing we have complete control over, that no one else does, it's our thoughts. I used to not know that, when it should have been obvious.

Wake up each morning and think about things you are GRATEFUL for. Even if there appears to be nothing, and all you can see are the problems, LOOK CLOSER. There is ALWAYS something beautiful to be seen. This is exercising your brain and helping it become the happy self you always want to be.

Don't allow yourself to become addicted to self loathing, or negative thinking.
That might sound crazy to you, but honestly it can become an addiction, just like anything else.

When I was at Youth America College, I found myself in such a dark place because of the thoughts I was thinking. I literally repeated how I hated myself and how I should just die over and over and didn't think it would harm me. Well... it did. I was so drained because I allowed my brain to feed itself poison. Never again. I pray I check myself on this for my entire life.

These things can SEEM to be true. The can seem like the ultimate truth, but it never is.
Create your new reality.

The more good things you think about, the more good things are drawn to you.
The more bad things you think about, the more bad things are drawn to you.

This is a proven fact, it is the way Jesus created this universe, and glory to Him for that. We can create a wonderful world around us simply through thought. The rest will follow.

"And to the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Those things, which you have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you." Philippians 4:7-9

Your Emotions, Your Choice.

If you've been following this blog for awhile, you have seen some of the emotions and deep thoughts I have had throughout the past 7ish months. Sometimes, not always very positive... but still reaching for hope in times that I felt so desperately lost. Not lost as in I don't know who I am or what the meaning of life is, but lost as in I let my emotions blind me and lead me into the dark.
That is possible, you know.. to actually allow yourself to become spiritually and emotionally blind. Let's keep that from happening, okay?

We all have our thing. That thing that keeps us from moving forward at times. For me, it's totally taking a much-too-long look at the past, or even the future. It's so bad. I have actually spent most of my life either worrying over things that happened in the past, or fretting over things that are to come. If you have always understood the importance of the present moment and never really had a problem living in it, you are probably so much farther a long in that knowledge than I am. But to be honest, it's one of the biggest lessons of my life that I am continually learning. It's okay.. it is.. to be afraid sometimes. It happens. It's part of life. But there is no need to let it control you. You have control.

I feel like I'm always saying something about Oklahoma City and the time I spent there, but it truly was one of the biggest times of my life so far. All of the things I gained while living hours away from my family and learning more about myself, Jesus, and what it is that I am called to do... it overwhelms me in a good way when I think about it. There is absolutely no way that I would ever take any of it back. If I'm honest, though, literally none of it was easy. The best part about it was being able to see Eric everyday. The worst was the fact that over time I let my emotions control me. I didn't even realize this until Eric literally just said it, "Kristin, you have got to stop this. You let your emotions control you way too much." "No I don't!" Haha. I'm funny. I knew he was right, and since then, I have made steps to fix that.

It's not easy. 

It's not. It is so much easier to just let your thoughts go... but is it? NOPE. Because when you let your wild mustang of a mind go, it has a tendancy to wreck things up. (That being your mind, then your body, then your life and the people around you)

It's all in your head. You've just got to pick yourself up and keep going.

There is hope.

It doesn't matter how many doctors have diagnosed you, how many people have said it, or even how long you have been telling yourself the same story that you will never be good enough. You can change your mind. Remember. These are YOUR EMOTIONS. This means that it is YOUR CHOICE on how you feel. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS. I REPEAT. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS. So why not think about things that bring life? This doesn't mean ignoring bad situations. It means being real with yourself and everyone else but thinking in a postive, healthy way.

You have control. Life is not hopeless. You are not hopeless. There is more to life that waking up and going to sleep. You have an impact that this world needs to feel. You have meaning. Now, rise up.You can master the art of your thoughts. Be the master of your own mind.

Here is a video that I made talking more about this.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I pray that you are blessed in Jesus name and experience more wonderful things than you ever thought you could.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 

What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me---practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 3:19

Adventurous

The Kingdom. 

It's a place we know we will reach someday. Little do a lot of us know that it's actually within us. 

“Now when He was asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, He answered them and said, “The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.””

Luke 17:20-21 nkjv

The past few years of my life, I've noticed the deep desire in me to be adventurous. 

When I would suffer from a cluttered mind or felt the need to get away, I would find myself on Pinterest looking up pictures of far away places. Maybe if I could take myself away to see these pictures come to life before me, I would experience true peace. 

I now see the fault in that thinking.

There are also times I've experienced doing absolutely nothing and finding it adventurous. I wasn't sure why I felt the sense of adventure snuggling in a chair drinking tea. 

We should not rely on peace in the world around us to give us fulfillment, because we all know the world does not know peace. Going away to a quiet place won't give you the peace you need. 

Quiet places just give our minds a time to rest; to clear the mess our thoughts have created. When we learn to think on things that give us peace is when we will know peace. 

Our minds and the thoughts in our minds have a direct influence on what's going on inside our hearts.

You can go places in your mind and be adventurous right where you are. 

I saw a quote once that read, 

"The Mind: an invisible force."

It's like all these pieces are coming together.

I truly have all the permission and authority to step into an adventure right where I am. The adventure lies within us. The positivity and peace is within me. There is no reaching out to grab it. 

Jesus is not far away from us. He is here now.

Going new places and trying new things is definitely something to pursue as we live on this planet for such a short time, but the thinking I had that adventuring these places would bring me fulfillment is just wrong on all ends. 

Jesus, life with you is an adventure. You are my peace.

And there is no convincing me of this. It's  reality to me.