Proud Insecurity

Jesus wants me here, now. 

This is the last stream I will be in before Youth America Camps start this year. I am in youth for OKC and I have to say, I didn't expect this much personal growth.

Youth at OKC has been said to be the hardest stream to go through in Youth America college, so I was a little intimidated at first thought. But during our first meeting, Pastor Matt said that he really felt like this rotation would have the most impact on us. How? He didn't say. Something in me knew he was right. 

Jesus has been teaching me, lately, how the insecurities I face are selfish. He showed me this in the most gentle way possible. He knows that my inner being cares for people a lot. When I approach people to introduce myself, I typically think wholeheartedly on what I look like, smell like, act like to them; completely disregarding the fact that this moment is important, and I need to give them my full attention. The insecurity I face steals my influence, if I let it. That can't happen. If someone shakes my head and tells me their name, I sure won't remember it if I'm too busy being insecure. It's self-centered on my part. I need to be centered into getting to know them right off the bat. 

Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 

Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. 

Philippians 2:3-5 nlt

There is no reason to be insecure, Kristin.

Don't you see all that Jesus uses you to do. Many are called and few are chosen. You know well that you are chosen for this. Jesus picks you up when you fall, but why do You so often refuse His hand. You are not a burden to Him. Reach out. He is right there. Remember that you are but a human in this world as well. You want to be a super hero so much that you forget the hero Himself. Let yourself breathe again. Maybe people won't listen to you, but at least you said what Jesus told you to say. They will one day know that Jesus gave them the chance to know the truth through you. You are more than a conqueror. Lift yourself up in the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ. He is the only One who can lift your sorrows. Let Him know you more. Regardless of what anyone has ever said to you or will say, please remember that Jesus is God and there is none beside Him. (Isaiah 43:11) Jesus holds you and covers you with His wings. You are secure in Jesus alone. Let Him fill you up. You're fixed in Jesus. Let Him move you wherever you are called to be. 

Thank You Jesus for the ability to fly without physical wings. You've grown me into the woman I am not and there's only moving forward from here. You know me better than anyone else. I will spread Your truth. In Jesus name. AMEN.