I'm serious. He leaves me speechless.
I'm so grateful for a God who isn't far away. The lie that many people think is truth is that God is far away.
The truth is Jesus is God. God manifested Himself into the body of a man so that He could walk with us and know what we go through, first hand. He was a God that seemed so distant, but He came to us in the most intimate way.
Now that He lived His life, died, and resurrected... even still... He is even closer than before.
When I was 14 years old, I was hungry for more than just a belief. I wanted something that I had always been so afraid of before: intimacy with the One who created me.
I had been in a rebellious phase of drinking, hating, hurting, and addiction. No one seemed to know I was hurting, so I continued to hurt myself and people.
A young girl so frustrated with everything that she wanted everyone around her to be frustrated too.
I just didn't want to be alone.
When I walked into the sanctuary of that camp, I knew something would change. I wasn't sure how, but I knew what I needed. Weeks before, I asked Jesus to fill me with His Spirit. I tried to get it. Nothing happened. But that Monday night of Crash camp on June 27, 2011, I spoke with tongues and was baptized in Love. (Acts 2:4) It changed my life. Of course, my first battle was trying to figure out if it actually happened or not. But, two days later I experienced it again. It was so intense this time. I couldn't deny how real it was.
After this, I felt a tug on me that I couldn't ignore. I knew with everything within me that I was suppose to lead people to His love. When I got home, I told my mom that I felt called to ministry. She told me that when I was born, she knew I would be. This is not something I ever thought I would do. I didn't know how it would happen, but as time went on, Jesus began to show me pieces of my future. Little by little, the hope of my calling was before my eyes. (Ephesians 1:18)
Eric was someone that always stayed in the back of my mind. Every time I saw him, I got butterflies. I didn't understand, though, because I had only talked to him a number of times. On June 27, 2012, we realized we both liked each other at Forward Conference 2012. This was the beginning of a journey that seemed to take forever, but eventually, we ended up together.
Looking at everything that has happened in the past 5 years, I see myself where I am now and all that has happened. It blows me away to see me doing ministry in Oklahoma City with the man of my dreams. I did not think it would happen this way. And if I stay, what an adventure that is ahead. If we don't stay, what an adventure still.
If you're still reading this,
I have no idea what will happen within the next three months, but I am very excited. This is a point within our journey where we don't see the way ahead. It seems as if all I can see is where my feet are now. But there's a step that must be taken, and where it leads to... I have to trust that Jesus is guiding us in the dark.
Lord, have Your way in me. Have Your way in us.
Thank You for Your certainty. Thank You for Your promises that never fail. You are faithful to keep us in Your truth as long as we seek You.
Keep us in the shadow of Your wings. Help us spread Your truth in the most effective way.
Jesus, grow me. Use me for greater than my own intent. Move me in ways that I could not go on my own. Use me as a vessel to do impossible things. Help me bring the people hope. You are our victory. You are our freedom, our healing, our Savior.
I love You.
Wherever we go from here, I know You have a greater reason than what we might think.
Psalm 139
Ephesians 2:10
First YAC vlog here.
Mountain by HalfNoise
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